Learn to REALLY Love Your Day Off!
This article offers practical ideas on renovating a “day off” into a day of recreating and delight.
Thesis: An intentional interruption to our week centered on re-creating will enrich our life.
We have grown up in the cultural stockpot of weekends and traditional five-day, forty-hour work weeks. Interestingly, it was not until the Industrial Revolution of the 1800s when populations arrived in cities to work in the factories that our current weekly rhythms arrived. Abundant and cheaper goods were widely available for the first time. Industrialists realized that if consumers had time and days off they were more likely to purchase the goods being produced. Additionally, days off were proving to bolster productivity which proved profitable. The economic machine would actually be fueled by days off for the common worker. And here we are, grease in the capitalistic machine.
I want to offer some interesting background which I hope awakens some curiosity to try out something new, or at least tweaked, in your day off. There are countless good ways to spend time off. But I wonder if there is a way to approach at least one day that would refresh you, enrich your closest relationships and give you a greater vision for life. The ancient origins story from the Jewish and Christian Scriptures tell of a six-day ordering sequence followed by a day of rest, the Sabbath. God creates for six days and then resting, or re-creating on the seventh. So important was this day of ceasing that it became a physical, emotional, relational and spiritual ritual, and the most detailed of the Ten Commandments at the number four spot ahead of murder and theft! Might be worth considering why.
Intentionality
When we show up at a gym and step up to the machines and weights without any plan or sense of what we are there for, we draw from past experience to set our workout. Nothing is wrong with that. This can serve us for a short time but what carries us through the discouraging dips and unpleasant valleys is one fundamental truth: Why are you here and what is your goal? Answers for personal training might be weight loss, living longer and healthier, completing a marathon, looking toned and fit, rehabbing an injury and more. Training methods will overlap but not every approach and exercise will yield the same goal. The same is true for recreating well.
When it comes to your day off, why are you here and what is your goal? Linger in this and come up with a meaningful reason. “I don’t want to think about work… I want to feel closer to my family… I want to feel better emotionally…”
As we move ahead you are invited to bring intentionality to the day off. We get to claim one day of our week and establish the goodness and beauty we strive to bring to the world everyday through our work.
What is a day off?
I listened to a pastor offer a sermon about how to relax and enjoy a Sunday with three points with follow-up action steps. By sermon’s end there were two dozen ways we should do Sunday. How is anyone supposed to enjoy a day with so much stress?
You contend with conflict, unfinished and unending tasks, conflict and complaints during your work week. You deserve better than more of the same on your day off. Jewish Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel published “The Sabbath” in 1951 that offers much for the Sabbath from which I simplified three Recreating Guidelines guide lines:
Peace. Bracket and pause on conflict.
Half-humorously I would tell my children when younger that there would be no arguments on this day. If a sibling said or did something wrong they could write it down with a promise it would be dealt with the next day.
Advance preparation and clarifying expectations can help here. If you and your partner would agree that all disagreements, annoyances and pet-peeves are on pause during the period of playfulness, this could qualitatively change this day for you both. It may feel uncomfortable or silly at first, but I think we all long for a relief from conflict even if it is just for an afternoon.
Partners and spouses in a place disagreement or profound disconnection may have an impossibly difficult time of this. I offer a little encouragement. When my wife and I have been in some of our hardest relational seasons, we have found that light and easy amidst a conflict cease-fire offers much-needed hope.
Joy. Play and delight.
What is fun? What can wait? What do you enjoy? What brings squeals of laughter to your children. Outdoor adventure? Indoor adventure? Flipping the day’s schedule, breakfast for dinner and dinner for breakfast. Don’t just watch a football game, make it a Super Bowl-like party! Spend time with family or friends that feed your soul? Obligations, duty and chores can wait for the six-day work week. Can there be components that feed you personally, your spouse and your family?
Thanksgiving. Mark the day with gratitude and generosity.
Adopt a half-glass full mindset.
One way is to let this day’s meal be the biggest and best of the week. Announce it and anticipate it. Smoke it, roast it, toast it! Spare no expense! The best parts of our Thanksgiving holiday meal can mark this meal.
Think ahead of some options for this day. Express gratitude – notes, toasts and speeches, gifts, kind words, conversation starters on the better and lovelier parts of your life will enrich this day. Go around the table, especially with kiddos, and take turns offering genuine thankfulness – be specific and thoughtful. Highlight the specialness in one another.
Tips for Implementation. Let’s be honest, does this feel impossible or too much?
Brainstorm and discuss this with your spouse or partner.
Plan for this day like an anticipated vacation or weekend away. Make your list, finish your errands, well in advance. Prepare like you would for hunting, fishing, skiing, or a road trip.
Look forward to this day. Talk about it, think about it, build excitement towards it.
Pick a 4-6 hour chunk of time to begin with if this feels too new or too much.
Try this for 3-4 weeks in a row. Our minds and bodies are going to have a hard time adjusting. For those in a hyper-vigilant occupation, this will be especially difficult to slow down.
Follow through. If a crisis arises, set an alternative day.
Evaluate afterwards, was there an aspect of peace, joy and thanksgiving that I experienced? What could improve the next go around?
Conclusion. Off-work time is practice for the after-work season
This article was a training originally prepared for police officers in an occupation with a profound sense of duty to the community at large. It is as relevant for every husband, father and man serving those in his care. Self-neglect and lack of self-care can mask as self-sacrifice. Speaking on behalf of spouses, partners, children and the greater community, we need your fully-engaged and healthy presence!
We are all approaching a finish line of some sort and every one will face a career transition one day. The body, family, friends and life that awaits us will be shaped by our re-creating now. Let’s make at least one day a week really count! I wonder if that is why the Sabbath day was one of the Big Ten Commandments?