Enneagram: Worth It or Lose It?

What I found helpful about the Enneagram Personality Types

SUMMARY: An article considering the valuable insights of the nine numbers in the popular Enneagram personality-relational profile. Two hot takes are offered and an invitation for feedback for those new, experienced and annoyed by this tool.

First, for most of us there is apprehension if not outright cynicism about anyone’s attempt to reduce our humanness to a number or few descriptors. So many personality profiles have made me feel misrepresented, misunderstood or just simply over-processed like a Velveeta cheese block! If this tool is used in a reductionistic or shame-filled way, of course there is a problem. At the same time, we are all meaning-making, structure-forming creatures. We make sense of our world and find meaning by ordering it. Awe can be had in understanding the science of sunsets and also by simply taking in the inspiring display at dusk. It is a helpful descriptive tool and not designed to be prescriptive. It can be pretty annoying to hear someone say, “I do such-and-such because I’m an Enneagram two!” 

I kindly respond, “How about, ‘You are described as an Enneagram 2 because you feel the impulse to do such-and-such in a situation?’”

Then I finish a bit snippy, “And how about you don’t tell me your Enneagram number or wing or all that information. Let’s have a normal conversation. Are you sharing those details as an excuse or merit badge?!”

Lest I digress let’s move on.

My hot take: The Enneagram has value for those curious about themself and looking for a proven tool that is quick to learn and easy to use.

One way that I have come to understand the Enneagram tool is as the lens by which we view relationships. It acknowledges our early formative years and the unique survival strategies we adopted to have our core emotional needs met. This is not so much a categorization of human personality as it is a color spectrum of relating. Imagine the color wheel we open on the computer. There is the bluish spectrum, greenish, yellowish and so on. A seemingly infinite number of variations exist but we can describe every color by their dominant color. There is no judgment about which color is better, though we may have preferences and favorites. In the same way the nine numbers are the dominant colors. They are not based on our decisions or mindset, they are shaped by experiences, usually survival-size ones before we even knew what was happening.

Another common concern is that someone may feel they fit more than one number. That’s the flexibility and applicability of the Enneagram. Once determining our launching place (I am an Enneagram 2), the relationships with the surrounding numbers are explored. This is the discussion about wings, types and where one goes in strength or weakness. As an Enneagram 2 I have a connection to numbers 1, 3, 4 and 8 - five of the nine numbers have shaped my relational lens! No person is just a number. We each have a unique relational-spectrum. With this in mind our patience and love for all who approach relationships differently can increase.

My hot take: The Enneagram is surprisingly accurate, adaptive and has the potential to improve relationships.

It is possible to really geek out on the details and nuance. Some people who have had a less positive Enneagram experiences may have been preached at by one of these disciple-fanatic sorts. Part of my goal in this article is to give a gentle voice of reason for the skeptics and introduction for those to whom the Enneagram is new. I am not an expert, and not quite an Enneagram geek. I am a proponent and practitioner. If one is interested in learning more and discovering their Enneagram lens, I highly recommend the freeing and motivating guidance of Ian Morgan Cron. He is worth following and his book The Road Back to You (co-authored with Suzanna Stable) is a great introduction and primer if you want to learn more. Additionally, his follow-up book The Story of You is a quick, enlightening read focusing less on the technical and more on the personal.

This whole discussion can go off the rails in two ways: First, talking too much about it, or two, moving on before enough is said. If this is new to you. Do a small dive into the topic. What number do you think you would be? Who do you know that may fit one of the other number types? What feels true or feels missed about you?

For those of you seasoned Enneagrammers – answer this question: So what? In other words, what difference has this made in the quality of your life and relationships?

Finally, if you have an issue with this relating spectrum of the Enneagram. Tell me your experience. Where have you felt mischaracterized or diminished or disagreement?

I would be interested in hearing thoughts to these questions.